sporty: June 2005 Archives

Race: Ironman Coeur d'Alene
Distance: 2.4 mile swim/112 mile bike/26.2 mile run
Location: Coeur d'Alene, Idaho

My road to my second Ironman finish was not the one I expected. After finishing my first Ironman at Wisconsin in 2002 I was hooked and had to come back for more. Little did I know that it would be three years before I saw another Ironman finish line.

After my second DNF (Lake Placid 2004) I said I would take some time off … no more Ironmans for a while. I wasn’t especially happy about it but felt like I needed the time off, plus I was starting law school. When registration for Wisconsin closed last year, I cried. I realized that I was so not ready to take time off, and that I really didn’t want to go out with a DNF. When I learned that CDA was still open, I pondered it for a few days and then clicked submit. Many people said I was crazy trying to do this in my first year of law school, but it seemed manageable. More than anything, I was afraid. I did NOT want to DNF again.

Surprisingly as the months went on, things seemed to come together. I made some changes in my nutrition and it paid off. I was having better long rides and runs than ever and was, amazingly, not injured. Things got a little dicey as I tried to squeeze 5-6 hour rides in during finals, but I made it. If anything, it kept me sane!

A week out I was feeling great. And then the whole bike fiasco began. As excited as I was about a new ride, riding it for the third time EVER during an Ironman was not a big confidence booster.

The day before the race I was nervous …. Really nervous. I couldn’t sleep. I felt nauseous. I got about two hours of sleep and damn near had a panic attack on race morning. I don’t know why I was so afraid. I think I was putting a ton of pressure on myself to get to that finish line! I felt sooooooooo sick and the race hadn’t even begun!! I managed to pull it together, round up my stuff and head down to the start the day.

Checked the bike. Pumped the tires. Ran into some friends. Found a fun surprise on my bike from a dude on the CDA Misfits page. Said goodbye to the family and boyfriend. Tried not to cry because I was so damn scared. Shimmied into the wetsuit and headed to the beach.

I decided to line up about 3/4s of the way down the beach in the very front. I should have known I was in trouble when I looked around and saw that everyone around me’s legs went up to my armpits. The anxiety was raging in my head. I heard someone behind me tell his friend he too was feeling anxious, to which his friend responded “well you know what they say is the best thing for anxiety … exercise!”. For some reason I was sure this type of exercise didn’t count!

When the canon went off the greyhounds around me leapt for the water while my stubby little legs tried to carry me thru the sand. I got jostled quite a bit before I was even swimming and had a helluva lot of body contact all the way to the first turn buoy. This was my fourth mass start and the first time I panicked. I calmed myself down by thinking of all my friends in the water with me, those on the shore watching, and the ones at home cheering me on. From the first turn buoy on it was smooth sailing. I tried to take the swim pretty easy since I was still feeling nauseous. Came out in 1:02 which is my slowest IM swim time, but no worries … I had a long day ahead of me!

The bike was a blast!!! I loved this bike course!!! There were some challenging hills but for the most part, it was pretty flat. The scenery was beautiful, the weather was perfect, the competitors and volunteers were so friendly and encouraging and funny. I played leap frog for a while with the oldest competitor in the race … a cool little 73 year old guy who was just hilarious! His attitude was great and he made me smile every time I would pass him and he would say “gooooo Jennifer!!” We had a little heat, a little wind, and a little rain … but never enough to be worrisome. I felt great on the first lap and tried very much to hold back. On the second loop I felt even better. For the first time on a 112 mile ride, I wasn’t just struggling to get home … I was trying to ride fast (for me!). My legs felt great, the new bike felt FANTASTIC (which was a big concern of mine going in …. No problems there whatsoever!) and I was actually kind of sad when the ride was over! I could have easily gone further … and would have sort of liked to! Averaged 15.2 mph on the bike and felt great at the end. I’m not a strong cyclist and can improve lots there … but I was pretty happy with my split.

Heading out of T2 I felt GREAT. Right away I was able to run with no problem. It was completely different from how I felt coming off the bike in my last two IMs …. And I realized that this might actually be my day. Actually had to hold back on the first loop of the run … my legs WANTED to run!! My legs were feeling great and my stomach was feeling … ok. There were a few miles in the first loop where I was feeling really sick … I slowed down to a walk, ate a banana and felt much better. When I hit mile 13 I almost (“almost” … I swear! ) cried because this was where I pulled out of LP … and I was STILL running. Decided right then that I would make it my goal to get in under 15 hours (went 15:27 at MOO 02) and used that to push me. Saw the family and the boyfriend for the millionth time that day and was told of how many of my friends from home had called to check on me … which completely lifted my spirits… not that they could have gotten much higher! I was still mostly running through mile 21 where the lights sort of went out. I was still able to keep up a pretty good walking pace and it looked like I would make my time goal.

Despite all the pain, the second loop of the run was a blast. I acquired a bunch of mardi gras beads at an aid station (and I didn’t even have to flash!) and they jingled around my neck for most of the last loop. I played leap frog for a while with one of the blind athletes who inspired me more than you could imagine. I had to fight back the tears for most of those last 13 miles because I KNEW I was going to make it … and I was so SO happy. When I got to the last turn around (5 miles out?) I said to the volunteers “Don’t take it personally … but I’m glad I’m not going to have to see you guys again!” … they said “We’re glad we’re not going to see you either … CONGRATULATIONS!!!!” … and then it started to feel real.

I wasn’t able to run much those last 5 miles but I maintained a good walking pace, still keeping my sub-15 goal in mind. My watch had DNF’d on me sometime during the bike so I kept having to ask people what time it was … but I was pretty confident I would make it.

Those last two miles were so emotional …. To have had to fight SO HARD to get back to that finish line again … to have failed so many times … and to have picked myself up and come back for more … to have had so many doubts … so many fears …. And now, to see the dream being realized once again … it was amazing.

I made the last turn onto the road with the finish line. It was pretty dark out there … which made it all the more poignant when a spectator pointed ahead and said “Look at what’s waiting for you up there!” … I looked up to see, for the first time, the huge floodlight at the finish line … I could hear the music and the cheers and could just barely see all the people. I was somehow able to muster a run for the last quarter mile or so (helps that it was all downhill to the finish line!)!

The finish line was amazing!! People lined the street WELL beyond the barriers and cheered like crazy … they were very close … it very much reminded me of what it was like to ride thru Verona that first year. I slapped as many of the hands as I could and felt like I was absolutely floating.

Entered the actual finish chute. Saw 14:49 on the clock. Heard Mike Reilly say something about "law school” … and then heard him tell me I was an Ironman. Again.

Nothing … NOTHING has ever felt so good. I’m FAR more proud of this one than I am of my first finish, and its not because I was 40 minutes faster. After the two DNF’s I was beginning to wonder if the first one was a fluke. Maybe I wasn’t cut out for this, not tough enough, not strong enough. Maybe I would never see that finish line again. I almost didn’t sign up for CDA because I did NOT want to DNF again. I used the whole “first year of law school” excuse to try to talk myself out of it … but in reality, I was afraid of failure. I trained my ass off this year, learned from the mistakes of the past, and still showed up to the start line uncertain. I was able to push all that aside … the concerns about riding a brand new bike, the ghosts of Ironmans past … and do what I needed to do to have what was for me a fantastic race.

I’m still reveling in it. Still not sure if its real.

Felt good enough to shower and head back to the finish line to cheer on the final finishers. Got to see a whole bunch of the C Different folks finish which was amazing … as were all of the last finishers!! The atmosphere was electric.

This was an absolutely fantastic race, and might just have moved into the #1 slot as my favorite Ironman. The course is beautiful and the volunteers and spectators were awesome. In the change tent after the swim, I had one woman rubbing sunscreen on my arms and legs, another drying off my feet and putting my bike shoes on for me, and a third pawing through my stuff looking for my Vaseline. You don’t get service like that often!

The five blind C Different athletes were incredible …. They inspired more people than they will ever know and I felt oh so privileged to get to race on the same course as them! Their efforts didn’t go unnoticed …. they got a standing ovation at the awards ceremony … and every time they were mentioned or shown on the screen, the place erupted in applause. I can’t wait to see the documentary.

Huge HUGE thanks to everyone who has offered support in one way or another over the last three years. Its been a rough road to get back to that finish line … but it was SO worth it!

It feels damn good to be back!

Yesterday afternoon I took a carful of aluminum cans, wine bottles, magazines, and plastic bags to the community recycling center. The parking lot where its located is under construction and the center was moved from its usual spot behind Sprawl-Mart to the parking lot across the street. Its a confusing mess and the way they funnel cars into the new recycling area is by fencing a "lane" into the parking lot that you drive through. I guess I don't really know how to explain it, but it stuck me while I was driving through, as my heart began to pitter patter just a little bit, that it looked and felt just a LITTLE like riding or running between race barriers. Isn't that crazy?? How could an orange chain link fence remind me of three foot high logo-plastered Ironman barriers??? I must be losing it ...

Note: For those of you who are sick of hearing about my excitement over my pending race (and I can't say that I blame you - I think my real life friends are all sick of it too!), in just a few weeks you will get to hear tales of drunken debauchery, adventures with shnitzel, the Tour de France, and hopefully some alpen mountain biking!

Today I did my last super long ride for CDA. My body is tired and definitly feeling ready to taper ... and I'm more excited for this race than I think I have been for any race in recent time ... but part of me is a little sad that that phase of the training is over ....

I feel like ... just in the last month ... I've learned to ride a bike. I know you're thinking ... "Ummm .... isn't this your FOURTH Ironman attempt?? What do you mean you just learned to ride a bike?". Maybe I should say ... I feel like I've just learned to really and truly enjoy riding my bike? And with that enjoyment comes speed, which has been a nice little bonus, but thats not even what this was about.

I used to dread my long rides. They were boring and painful and ... well... long. It might have something to do with the fact that the weather has been great (ok, windy) for riding and maybe that I'm STILL injury-free ... I don't know ... more than anything, I think its a mindset.

I think this all started when I watched Collegiate Roadie Nationals a couple weeks ago .... and realized how much of a chicken I am. I've been actively working on letting go of the fear ... I don't think I ever realized how much the fear took away from the fun that is heading out for a day on the open road. I'm still a bit of a chicken, but that has sort of taken a backseat to the pure joy that is flying down the pavement, past beautiful rolling pastures and wheatfields, on a gorgeous early summer day.

Even the wind, the dreaded wind this state is famous for, hasn't seemed as bad lately. Sure it was blowing at 16+ mph (actually, on the low end of average for us this time of year! and admittedly, it had died down somewhat when it was time to head back into it), as always, on my ride today, but it seemed somehow different. Less fierce. More like the annoying little brother that is ALWAYS there, whether you like it or not, that you somehow learn to love.

Today we rode 80 miles. I would have liked to have gone a little farther but I was having stomach problems completely unrelated to the ride. I know I'm sitting well for CDA tho because at 80 miles, I very seriously considered riding out to the lake which is 15 miles away .... would have given us a total of 110 ... and that didn't scare me in the least.

More importantly, we saw a coyote. He was running towards the road and about to cross RIGHT in front of us... when he was five feet away he saw us, turned on a dime, and took off across the field. On three seperate occaisions we saw painted box turtles trying to cross the road, and on all three occaisions we stopped and nudged them along, making sure they didn't become roadkill. We saw these crazy birds with REALLY long tails sitting on a barbed wire fence on a deserted country road. We saw a pack of dogs, RIGHT next to us, who only looked up and wagged their tales as we rode by.

I'm so ready to taper ... so ready to race ... but I will miss these moments. I hope my newfound comfort and enjoyment of cycling will carry over to next year .... for now, this being over is just a little bittersweet ...

I just finished my last long run for Ironman Coeur d'Alene. I'm exhausted and absolutely exhilarated because this was my longest long training run ... ever.

The wonderful boyfriend bike sherpa'd me ... carrying all my crap and keeping me company for the 3+ hours I was out. Having him with me made all the difference in the world because I felt like I could really push myself without worrying about how delerious I got (which didn't really happen, but it was still comforting to know that if it DID, I wouldn't be alone!)!

It was an epic run. We left around 7:00 p.m. ... it was cloudy and grey and looked like it could potentially rain. I have a beautiful long run route that I absolutely love doing. The first (and last) 2.5 miles are on the sidewalk along a busy street, but after that its a glorious couple mile trot on a beautiful bike path and then along the reservoir/dam... then turn around when you want and head back the way you came. I absolutely love this run ... its generally quiet and can be very VERY pretty. I watched a wakeboarder catch air on the lake as the sun was setting. We were on the dam a little later than is really safe (think: very small shoulder and some oncoming traffic) but we made it back onto the bike path just in time for total darkness to fall. It was DARK on the bike path and the boytoy nearly ran over a rather large snake, which he is convinced struck at him! The lightning bugs were out in full force and the little valley that the bike path travereses seemed to be positively sparkling! It was way cool, and at 15-ish miles into my run, more than a little trippy.

The run started out brutal. The first three miles were a painful walk/jog and everything in my legs just hurt. But I kept plodding along and by the time I hit mile 3 i was moving much better. By mile 7 I felt fantastic and decided to push on to 9 miles before turning around .... giving me an 18 mile total run.

I felt completely like I was in the zone. My legs were heavy but I fell into this rhythm that let me keep plodding along without much pain or discomfort (up until the end). For this former non-runner, it was an amazing feeling. Not to sound all new agey, but it really did feel meditative .... like I had found this rhythm and I could just keep running until someone told me to stop. Maybe a little like Forrest Gump.

The last mile home was painful but with the boyfriend pushing me I managed to run most of it. I wasn't feeling so hot at that point but I kept reminding myself that this is good ... that I am learning what my body can do when my mind won't let it stop. I am learning to push my limits more than I ever have before - even after three years of Ironman training!

Saturday is my last long ride and then its taper taper taper!