sporty: November 2004 Archives
So the BigScaryWritingAssignment is due on Friday and finals are right around the corner and its been really interesting seeing how different people react to stress. Today in class a friend of mine ended up fighting back tears when she realized that all the prep work she did to be up in class today was done in vain (well, as far as getting called on goes) because the professor didn’t get to her and she will be up tomorrow instead. She’s freaking out about her memo and spent a ton of time preparing for class today and will now have to repeat the performance tonight in order to be prepared for tomorrow’s lecture. Annoying? Yes. An inconvenience? Yes. Something to make you cry and tremble and contemplate your future as a law student? Probably not. She’s in a state of panic because she thinks her BigScary is totally wrong and she will be the first 1L to flunk out based solely on her grade on this one assignment. And she absolutely hates being called on despite the fact that all of our professors, and this one in particular, are actually pretty kind and easy on us when we’re up. I keep trying to get her to put this all in perspective but she’s reached a state of mania about this from which I think there is no return until she gets her grades back and sees that low and behold, she did just fine.
The boyfriend and I watched Big Fish the other day. And I’m not going to ruin the plot for those of you who haven’t seen it, but let me just explain that there is a scene where one of the main characters is laying in bed, sick with cancer, and he says he isn’t worried because “this isn’t what is going to kill me…” (or something to that effect) because some wacky witch showed him how he would die when he was a kid, and laying in bed ill wasn’t it. I don’t know how I’m going to die, but I’m pretty sure its not going to be while taking a law school final or writing a paper or participating in even the most grueling Socratic exchange.
I swore I would never get cheesy and draw some lame parallel between Ironman and law school… but well, I think I have to because it IS something I have thought about. And it’s a thought that has kept me sane and balanced and helped to keep things in perspective whether I’m writing a paper that is 50% of my grade or preparing for finals which are ALL of my grade.
I'm hesitant to write about this here because it seems so over-dramatic and self-righteous, but its an honest to god thought that has kept me going. So here goes....I participate in a sport where it is considered very normal (although unfortunate) to spend a couple hours post-race in a med-tent with a needle in your arm. I’ve ridden down hills at 45+ mph on an 18 pound bike with the only thing connecting me to solid ground being two very very skinny tires. I’ve pushed my body to the point where my legs locked up. To the point where I could barely walk anymore. To the point where curling up in a ditch on some deserted country road and taking a nap actually seemed like a good idea. I’ve seen people in races around me in far worse states than I. I saw a girl in the transition area at Lake Placid this summer being carried around on a stretcher, completely out of it. I’ve seen people go down hard on the bike. It seems that almost every year, some athlete in some race is killed when they lose their balance just for a moment and hit the pavement the wrong way. And who knows how many more are killed or seriously injured in training. And there is always the thought in the back of your head that that could have been you.
And I’m supposed to be scared of taking a final or writing a paper? Sure, there’s a chance that I could fail. There’s a chance that my paper could turn out horrid. But that is just about the WORST that could happen. I see no point in getting all worked up about this stuff. Don’t get me wrong… I’m working my butt off in school. I’ve spent a gazillion hours on my paper, I study, I do my reading, I really really want to do well. But I’m not going to make myself completely crazy in that process. And besides, I believe that being completely crazy about it is far FAR more of a detriment to this whole process than going in as calm and confident as you can. I’m very much a “take it as it comes” person, and right now, I feel like that may be my biggest ally in this law school experience. I'm not saying that when finals roll around that I won't be nervous. I'm sure I will be a bit jittery and on edge. BUT I'm pretty sure that I WON'T be in hysterics like several people already seem to be....
Ok.. I’m done. I promise not to overly dramatize Ironman and law school again. (Well, this semester….)
