One of my best friends has a chronic and possibly terminal illness. She's had it for a lot longer than I've known her and doesn't look even remotely sick on the outside. She's healthy and feisty and active and I often forget that there is a very real threat that things could go downhill. I don't know much about this particular disease, but I'm trying to educate myself as best I can. It seems like its the kind of thing that many people live with just fine - it can be annoying and painful and but most people live to be cantankerous old folks without too much trouble. From what I've read tho, it also seems like things can go downhill frightenly quick. I read many stories of people who had been living with this disease for a long time just fine and then suddenly were gone. Its really scary.
My friend had a couple bad doctor's appointments this week and is going back on Monday for more tests. She jokes about how "if she's going to die tomorrow, she might as well have some pie tonight" ... and then asks whether I can handle black humor. I'm actually a big fan of black humor in situations like this, but when I don't feel like I really know whats going on, it takes me by surprise and I don't know what to say.
She's one of those people that has had to fight for just about everything in her life and absolutely hates it when people worry about her.... which makes it hard to know how much I really know about her health status and what the outlook is. And that is what scares me. I want to sit her down and say "Listen chickie, I love you to bits and am going to worry about you whether you like it or not, so you might as well come clean and tell me what the prognosis really is.... I'm actually really good at dealing with this type of stuff and I'm here for you through all of it... but I need to know where this really could go, and what the chances are, and how it feels both physically and emotionally for you...." ... but I know she doesn't like to talk about it ...
Posted by gator at March 19, 2005 1:03 PM