March 2007 Archives

We were so very excited about the possibility of moving to Colorado and had all but started packing our bags when the whole situation changed yesterday and now we may be staying.

For the last ten months all I have talked about is how much I love my job. I love the work, I love the people, I love the hours, I love feeling like I am truly working for the good guys, and considering the aforementioned considerations, the pay is pretty darn good. I have said over and over that I would turn down just about any other job to stay. We don't have mountains or oceans, but the job is just THAT good. When it looked like there would be no position here, it was real easy to convince myself that this wasn't quite what I wanted. And I was so excited about moving and the freedom it would afford us.

Last week I found out someone at my office is leaving which means there may be a position open. I tried not to get too excited.

Yesterday I ran into my boss. After a few minutes of chatting about the potential move and the excitement of getting married and whatnot, he asked if I was still interested in staying. He seemed genuinely excited to be asking that question, which honestly felt pretty damn good. I said I needed to think about it, which really meant I needed to talk to the fiance. The choice really wasn't a hard one. After a brief consult with J I informed the boss that I would take the job in a heartbeat if it was offered.

Now its a bit of a waiting game to see what happens and if the position will be open or if it will be absorbed elsewhere. I think things are looking pretty good.

And I'm really really excited. Sure I'll miss this whole feeling of adventure and entering the unknown, but its totally worth it. The job is a great one and if I really and truly get to stay I will be so very lucky. I interviewed for one job for 2L summer, and it was pretty much my dream job and I got it. Half my law school class is still unemployed for post-graduation, and I may be getting a permanent offer at the dream job? That's a pretty dang sweet deal for me. I'm so very lucky.

We're already thinking of all the things that we can do with this newfound stability. Buy a house, get another dog, start actually planning a wedding, start doing some long term fostering ... its exciting. Its really really exciting. At this point I'm just crossing every finger that I have that things work out and that they work out soon, because otherwise the move is still on. And as excited as I was to just go the truth is that there is a very big part of me that is pretty psyched to stay.

Think happy thoughts for me. This development is big!

Oh, and in case you were wondering, we did indeed manage to make it back to night two of Panic. We drank a little less, hung out with some new friends, and I think all in all had an even better time than we did the first night. The show was killer. And I was havin' too much freakin' fun in my cowboy hat.

My most favoritest band on the planet is in town this week for a two night run. As soon as tickets went on sale the fiance and I shelled out $35 a pop (not including ticketbastard charges which upped the cost significantly ...) and I was STOKED when yesterday finally rolled around.

I love these guys ... there is something about their music that gets me like none other, which is why I spent a significant amount of money in college traveling around and seeing them as much as humanly possible. Once upon a time we would drive to Ames (or some other pseudo-nearby college town), dance our asses off at the show, turn around and drive three or four hours home that night, and I would still make it to my first class the next day. So of course I figured I would have no problem making it to my 10:30 this morning, when the show was only 45 minutes away in KC. Only problem is, I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a train.

I didn't drink much. Probably three beers over the course of seven hours. We didn't get home that late. Probably 12:30 or so and I was in bed and snoring at 1 a.m. So why do we feel like crap today? All I can think of is that my 27 years on this planet are finally catching up with me ...

It didn't help that it was about eight hundred degrees in the theatre last night. Add to that a few thousand sweaty bodies all crammed in dancing like there was no tomorrow and you've got a recipe for dehydration. The heat was stifling and by the time we left I was absolutely drenched.

Now its 2:30 p.m. and I'm trying to get motivated to head back to KC for night two. I am on my second cup of coffee and have a veggie burrito in my belly, so I think I'm on the upswing. But MAN, this is rough.

The good news is the show was awesome. How a band that can rock so hard at times can sound so beautiful at others just blows my mind. I have a short list of obscure Panic songs that I would LOVE to hear and they hit two of them last night ... I'm hoping for a few more tonight. With the entrance of Ironman and law school into my life, I hadn't had the time or money to see them in a while, and I remember why I love them so much. And I really really can't wait till we're out in Colorado and I can catch the annual Red Rocks run. I've been to Red Rocks four times and truly believe its just as good as everyone makes it sound. There is no better place to see a show.

For now I've just gotta focus on mustering up the energy to do it all again tonight!

I can't believe I haven't been blogging more, considering that this has to be one of the more exciting times of my life. Two months from today I will don a fancy rental robe and officially finish my tenure at the University where I have spent the last nine years of my life.

Everyday the move to Colorado becomes more and more certain, and everyday I become more and more excited. The fiance is in the final stages of ensuring his ability to continue working from Colorado and I am still actively looking for jobs. I don't have one yet, and what I'm learning about myself is that that's ok.

Its ok because I am finding, remembering really, that I thrive in situations of uncertainty. How did I forget that? How did I forget that I feel most free and most alive when I'm not 100% sure where I will be living and what I will be doing and what life will look like. How did I let that sense of adventure get lost in feelings of responsibility and the idea of what the "normal" or "right" path to take in this world is?

For the first time in a very, very long time, I feel a sense of freedom. Soon I will be walking away from a few too many years of higher education with a fancy degree in my hand and no real concrete idea of where that will lead me. Sure there are concerns. Loans will need to be paid back*, rent will need to be paid, and I will have to deal with the general expense of living, on my own, for really the first time. But it will work out. I know it will work out.

Don't get me wrong, I am super geeked out about a few things I have applied for out there and I will be THRILLED if I get interviews, but if I don't, its ok. We will figure it out and I am learning to love the uncertainty of it all. Two months from today I will be done and the next adventure will begin! In the meantime, I will continue being absolutely addicted to this song and reminding myself that everything happens for a reason.

* Remind me to thank those people who suggested I stay in state for law school thereby minimizing the amount of debt I am graduating with!

Moving is an exciting proposition, and frustrating at the same time. Its all I can really think about right now and I desperately wish I could be being more proactive about it. But when you live 500 miles away from your ultimate destination, being proactive is hard. Until we hear otherwise we are operating under the assumption that I will love out there jobless and the fiance will continue to work his current gig from wherever we call home. Thats great in that it affords us a lot of flexibility, but not so great in that it really doesn't help to narrow the idea of where we will be.

Denver is a big place and, sitting in my apartment in Kansas, its hard to figure out where the heck we should be thinking about moving to. Since we don't know where we will be working city-wise, I'm thinking we should maybe consider renting in Denver, but in a location that doesn't make commuting to Boulder impossible. This seems to indicate that the northwest 'burbs is where we should be, but I just don't know. Hopefully withint he next few weeks we will be able to get ourselves out there to look around a bit.

Last week I met with our career services dude to talk about all this and see what he thought. He seems to think its a great idea all around and says from his perspective, the only reason to reconsider would be if I got an offer from my job here (and then work there for a few years before moving). I don't know that he really told me anything I didn't know but it was great to bounce ideas off someone who gets paid to provide their opinion on these sorts of things.

So that is where we are. In the meantime I am trying to do everything I can to make the move as stress-less as possible once we make up our mind. I will have about a week between graduation day and the day I have to start bar review classes so we need to be ready to go when its time. I spent a good chunk of time this week cleaning out my closet, and ended up filling three garbage bags of clothes which were donated to charity and I am going to try to fill a few more this weekend. I've managed to put some money into savings over the last couple years and I'm doing everything in my power to add to it over the next couple months. Its not a ton of money, but its enough to give us a little bit of a cushion for a while, so that's good.

I can't believe this really may be happening. Right now, it doesn't quite feel real.