February 2007 Archives

All last week I had to fight the urge to make a frustrated self-pitying post about how I don't have a job yet. Everyone at school seems to be obsessed at the moment with bar applications* and I got sucked in - which was terrifying seeing as I don't even know where I want to take the bar. I was depressed and anxious and feeling very very hopeless.

I have posted before on this subject. Since writing that last post (and after surviving last week's constant feeling of dread) I am feeling one hundred times better about the future. I have stopped hoping desperately to get an offer at my current job, and honestly, while I love the work - at this point I'm not even sure if I'd accept one if I got it. With my chance of future employment there being uncertain, I have been forced to look elsewhere ... and I feel like the world has opened up to me.

In the last week I have sent out applications for several different gigs, all in places where I would LOVE to live. Two of the jobs are what I unquestionably describe as my "dream job". One of the others would give me more experience that would help me get my dream job. And I am still considering an LLM.

But here's the most exciting part. The part that I am pretty much giddy about. After much much discussion with the fiance, my mom, my best friend, Maddie's former foster mom, and just about anyone else who will listen, we have pretty much decided that if no offers have come my way by the time I need to make a decision about the bar, I will be taking the bar in Colorado.

The truth is that while I don't hate KC and while I do really like Larryville, I have been trying for a LONG time to figure out how to move west. The truth is that I could just as easily end up unemployed in Kansas. The truth is that if ever there was a time when we could pick up our lives and just go somewhere new this is it. Colorado (and many other mountainous places) has been calling my name for a long long time and if we are going to go, NOW is the time to do it.

I am absolutely beyond thrilled.

Will I get my dream job right away? Probably not. Hopefully I can find something though that will help me get more experience so that when the dream job does come along, I am more marketable. The fiance's job is pretty portable, so that really isn't a problem. We would be moving out there on one income ... which is a little scary ... but I am confident that it will work out.

Hopefully things won't be so uncertain. I am trying not to get my hopes up too much about the jobs I applied for this week, but if by some miracle I DO get offers, we could end up in any number of fabulous places and I will be THRILLED. But even if I don't have a job ... we may just be heading west anyway.

I'm not sure why it seems so risky. Cost of living is higher out there, but not dramatically so, at least not compared to any number of places people pack up and move to (Denver's got nothing on New York, San Diego, San Francisco ...). Part of it may be that the first time in my life that I will be financially independent will also be the first time I am living too far away from my family to be able to easily mooch off them. But I think it will be good. I think its time. I think that this is one of those things that ten years from now we'll look back on and think thank god we took that risk!.

I went from being terribly anxious last week to absolutely giddy and excited this week. Every morning I wake up wondering if this is the day that I learn something about what my future will look like, and I know that if its NOT that day, it is one step closer to me taking the reigns of my life and moving to where I want to go and figuring out how to make things work. Fortuantely, the fiance is totally down with all of this. He's excited too. Regardless of what I learn and when I learn it, it looks like we will be moving west.

* Now that I have sat down and actually looked at a bar application I have no idea what everyone is so freaked out about. I have had to dig up a few pieces of information (see: dorm room numbers from college?!) but its actually been sort of a fun exercise in sleuthing.

... I have been a very busy woman.

I've had consulting projects and foster dogs and school and work and homework and social engagements and we've had a whole lot of snow lately (for this part of the country at least) which has generally made life a whole lot more fun. I love snow.

There's two things on my mind today, so I thought I would fill you in on them. Nothing thrilling, at least not yet. But maybe.

I just got back from the post office where I mailed off three resumes for three jobs that sound pretty great. Two of the jobs are in places I would pretty much kill to live (Austin and Boulder) and one is in a place I think I can probably tolerate (Vegas). Last week I applied for a few other gigs, one lawyer type job (Topeka), and two jobs that would make use of what I have learned but aren't actually attorney positions (Flagstaff and Looneyville). So things are looking up. At least thats what i'm trying to tell myself. The job in Boulder has me all a flutter. Who knows if I will even get an interview, but if I do I will be one very nervous (and very happy!) camper! I will keep you updated. Cross your fingers for me.

The other thing that has been occupying my thoughts and time is the work I have been doing with dog (mostly lab) rescue. I am very quickly being sucked into this crazy world full of wonderful people and heartbreaking stories. The boy that is living with me right now has absolutely stolen my heart and I would do just about anything to keep him, but unfortunately, that is not possible. On Monday he is flying off to Las Vegas where he will be in lab rescue and I KNOW my friend Lisa will find him a wonderful home. We pulled him off death row at the pound a few weeks ago and he came to my place for the weekend. He was skittish and timid and scared of just about everything. But he was sweet as could be. He was supposed to stay with me until his flight could be arranged but unfortunately he has some seperation anxiety and barked every time he was left alone. My neighbors in the apartment were not happy. Fortunately while he was here some room opened up at the shelter so he could go back there for a week or so. Well, he's back for the weekend (he leaves Monday morning) and he is a completely different dog. He's friendly and outgoing and happy. I don't know WHAT happened to him but the change is amazing. He and Maddie get along great. He is by far her favorite foster that we have had. They snuggle and lick eachother and romp. Its pretty sweet. I am going to miss him SO MUCH when he leaves on Monday. Fortunately it looks like we will be getting another foster that very same day, so I won't have too much time to mourn his loss!

And with that I have a couple mutts to take out. Please think happy job thoughts for me and happy travel thoughts for the Barney dog.