October 2006 Archives

They say that the third year of law school is the easiest, and in some ways, they're right. I'm not worried about finals, I don't get nervous before class, I know what to expect. At the same time, I'm more busy now than ever before. Between the clinic and work, I feel like I'm drowning in responsibility on a regular basis. I don't know that I've ever felt that way before.

But its not the amount of things I need to do and the lack of time that I have to do them that keeps me awake at night. Its the future. I'm one of the vast majority of members of my law school class that doesn't have anything lined up yet for post-graduation. While some of my classmates are freaking out about that, I'm not. I know things will work out.

But I spend hour upon hour pouring over websites, looking for jobs, trying to figure out where I want to go and what I want (or more importantly, don't want) to do. I'd love to stay at the job I'm at now. I love the work and the people and while this wouldn't be my first choice of a place to move to if I could pick anywhere in the whole country, it really is a pretty good place to live. We don't have mountains or beaches but we have good weather and great riding (both road and mountain), low cost of living, great schools, and really nice (altho a little conservative for my taste) people. I'd pretty much turn down any other job to get to keep the gig I have now.

But staying where I am isn't a sure thing at the moment. I think I will get an offer eventually, but I need to keep my options open just in case. And that is where everything gets confusing. There are a lot of cities I'd love to live in ... Denver, Portland (Maine or Oregon), Minneapolis, Boise, Spokane/CDA, maybe Salt Lake ... but its finding jobs in those places that I actually want to do that is making it pretty difficult. Those places all have big firms and if I wanted to work for a big firm, I'd be set. But I don't. There's a gig in Portland (the Oregon version) that I'm going to apply for which would probably be a pretty perfect match. And I've found entry level openings in both DC and Honolulu that I'd LOVE to do ... but I don't know that I really want to live in either of those places.

Its all taking up a lot of time and a lot of energy. Its scary and exciting at the same time. With any luck, this will be the last time for a long time that I will find myself without a job and the ability to go anywhere. The boyfriend's job/industry is pretty flexible so, while I do have to consider his employment options, its not as tough for him as it could be, assuming we move some place that qualifies as at least small city status.

While its all a little overwhelming, I think I will probably look back on this time, from the comfort of my desk at my reasonably well-paying job, and think it was a GREAT time in my life. Standing on the edge of being self-supporting (finally) and an actual contributing member of society (finally) is not a bad place to be.

... to everyone who has a friend or relative who is in a long term relationship but is not yet engaged:

Do not feel the need to constantly harrass the person as to why they are not yet wearing a ring on their finger. It is annoying and nosy and after a while it gets very very old.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4.5 years. Thats an awfully long time. We talk openly about marriage, and weddings, and what ours will be like. Neither of us are in any sort of rush to tie the knot seeing as I am still in school and am still 10 months or so from actually being able to support myself. I would love to be engaged, but it doesn't mean that I am unhappy with how things are now.

Almost every single day (literally) for the last year or two I have fielded questions as to when we will be getting engaged, why I have no ring, et cetera et cetera et cetera. And I'm tired of it. I'm tired of constantly having to defend my relationship. I shouldn't have to. Things are pretty great.

When we got back from our trip to Colorado this week, the first question from everyone was "How was your trip?". The second question was "So ... no ring?".

Its getting old. And in all honesty, its sort of taking the fun out of the whole experience for me. Why does everyone feel the need to try to force things and speed things up and put in their two cents about the timeframe in which we should be making lifelong commitments? They mean well, but they're not helping.

Don't people have other things to worry about besides the status of my relationship??

I mean, really ... don't we LOOK happy?

Ok, I'm done. Just had to get that off my chest.

Please note, I'm not talking about ANYONE who reads this blog. Unfortunately the people who need to hear me say "Just leave me alone about this ... please?" aren't readers. Maybe if they were, they'd get off my back.