rest day, etc.

Its Monday and I'm tired and stressed out and crabby and desperately, desperately in need of a rest day. Fortunately, I'm due for a recovery week - not just a puney rest day.

Friday I finally broke down and bought a heart rate monitor. Yes, I'm in my sixth season of triathlon and I just bought a HRM. I hopped on the bike Friday evening and realized just how not hard I have been working on the trainer. That's all fine and good for long rides, but not for the shorter ones. The boyfriend decided to dictate a spin workout to me (my own personal Coach Troy) and the heart rate quickly skyrocketed, as the legs were screaming. Damn, spinning out of the saddle hurts. Saturday was LSD ride day and because it was in the teens outside, I opted for the trainer (I'm a wuss ... and besides, my water bottles wouldn't have stayed liquid for longer than 10 minutes outside). Three hours of somewhat intense (damn the HRM!) spinning and the legs were certainly starting to protest. I'm getting a little tired of the trainer - hopefully it will start to warm up soon. Woke up Sunday morning not feeling at all like running. My legs were totally trashed and the temperature was hovering around 20 degrees. Headed out the door anyway for my 1:20 run. Didn't feel great but got it done. Skipped an afternoon swim and called it a week. And now, I recover.

My training seems to be going so , so well this time around. I'm really excited. I haven't done anything that long just yet - top ride has been three hours, top run has been an hour and a half - but I don't even feel the hint of an injury. The knee problems a few years ago, the collapsed arch of last year - all that seems to be behind me. This next round of training will bump the distances up pretty substantially - hoping to still feel this good four weeks from now.

But I AM crabby. A job that I want SO badly for next year is in front of me and the only thing standing in my way is my pride. Applying for this job means disclosing my lackluster transcript to one of the people who has been most supportive and helpful to me career-wise over the last four years. He's always told me that I would do well in law school, that I'm a good student ... and I hate HATE the idea that when he sees my transcript he will think he was wrong. But I want the job sooooo badly. I need to get out of my own way and just suck it up and APPLY. The only thing I have to lose is my pride, but damn, sometimes that feels sort of important.