isn't 2L year supposed to be easier?

Despite my "I'm gonna kick law school squarely in the ass" post from earlier today, I am filled with doubt. I have never felt so inadequate as a student in my life.

Its not just the F, which I have come to realize was absolutely ridiculous in light of 1/3rd of the class failing. Its that the rest of my grades aren't great either. I work my ass off ... for C+'s and a couple B's??? Every semester, the same thing. My neighbor today told me that he "only" got two A's this semester. I wanted to cry.

I feel like such a failure. Like maybe I'm not smart enough for this. There were times in college that I didn't do as well as I would have liked, but that was because of my own lack of focus. I don't think thats the case here. I think thats part of why I'm so frustrated - because I feel like, no matter what I do, I'm not going to do well. And I know thats a terrible attitude to have.

I was told before coming to law school that one of the hardest things new law students deal with is the fact that they were at the top of their undergrad classes, and all of a sudden they are competing with all these people who were also at the top of their undergrad classes. That people who got A's and B's without really having to work for it would get B's and C's in law school, despite an enormous amount of effort.

Last year it didn't phase me. I swore when I started law school that I wouldn't let the competitive nature of the whole experience get to me, but I'm being sucked in. Big time. And I hate it. I hate feeling like my worth is lower because my GPA is. I know this mentality is ridiculous. Intellectually, I realize that I'm surrounded by smart people, and I realize that I am one of them. But I don't feel that way.

And it goes beyond the GPA. I worry that my lackluster grades indicate a future as a lackluster lawyer. Someday I am going to be representing clients - and if my rank in law school is any indication, I probably won't be all that good at it. I know people say that the practice of law is very different from law school, but at the moment I'm having a hard time believing it. Maybe I'm just not smart enough.

Why am I so freaked out right now?? Everyone says law school gets so much easier and that the stress level drops dramatically in your second year. But for me, right now, its just the opposite.

I don't know. I've got a bit of a cold at the moment. Maybe thats where all this negativity is coming from. Maybe not. This is the first time I've ever really considered leaving law school (don't worry, I'm not).