how do you say no?
Along with the whole sick friend thing, this week I seem to have found myself putting a significant amount of time and energy into helping someone with an absolutely hellish situation they are facing in their life. She's understandably a wreck and I seem to be the one attempting to help her pick up the pieces.
This was all fine and good when it was just one or two days of big drama. But now, its continuing far longer than I can really handle. Its really starting to take its toll on me. I'm not sleeping well, I'm not getting the stuff done that I need to get done, I've missed a couple classes. And its happening at the worst possible time with finals starting next week and Ironman training needing to be at its peak.
So what do I do? I've told this person that I would always be there for her, to call me any time, to come over whenever she needs to... and I can't very well rescind that offer, but STILL. What she is going thru is miserable and I understand why she doesn't want to be alone, and it seems very very unfair that there should be some sort of statute of limitations on my patience and willingness to push all other things aside to help her out.
No less than three people in my life have said to me in the last couple weeks "I'm worried about you - you need to take care of YOURSELF" first. And I know that. But really - how do you say no?
[Edited: A couple days later and I have managed to get major sleep, get a ton of studying done, and get back on the training wagon. Life seems to be settling back in to normal. Yay boundaries.]
You can't let the care of someone else affect your health and personal responsibilities. If you let yourself get run down, then you're not going to be any good to anyone, most of all yourself!
See if she has someone else to share the care and concern you've been giving. Not that you're passing the load, you just need it to lighten as your plate is already overfull (sounds like to me). A true friend should understand and not want you to get sick or rundown.